Christmas Wishlist

So MMOGamerChick finally got tired of waiting for me to post again and tagged me with a Chistmas Wishlist chain blog. I checked and couldn’t find out what I’d be risking by not doing it, but better safe than sorry right?

Dear Santa,

As a middle-aged man with a family the main thing I’d like for Christmas is more time. Of course you might not realize this but not everyone can stop time for a single night out of the year in order to get everything done that they’d like to. Now I understand that having the ability to mess with time on a regular basis might not be a good thing, and adding a few extra hours to the day would really wreak havoc with the plant and animal life on the planet. So instead, I’d like to suggest giving me the winning numbers to the state lottery. After all, working wastes a good eight hours every five days out of seven and that would be more than enough extra time for me to game.

This second thing isn’t for me, at least I don’t think I need any more than I already do (but then who doesn’t). I’d like you to gift empathy to all of those regular gaming forum posters and blog commenters. It’s probably naive, but I like to think that if the average forum troll was capable of realizing that other posters and developers are actual people that they’d be less likely to lodge their craniums in their rectums.

Third, I’d love for you to invent and make open source adaptive AI software for monitoring chat and activity logs. Anyone making more than one Chuck Norris joke a day get’s silenced for 24 hours. People who spend time complaining about a game while playing it get disconnected. Oh and add spammers to that list to.

Actually, now that I think of it, that AI would also be great for allowing for some real pen-and-paper style role-playing. Quest lines could allow for more flexibility in how players complete them, and MMOs could finally stay ahead of players who persist in rushing through all of the leveling content to complain that there’s nothing to do. I’d also like it if the AI was allowed to vary quests a bit in order to eliminate the walk-through mentality that’s begun to dominate MMOs of late.

The last thing I’d like for Christmas would be if you could have Bethesda redo Morrowind and Oblivion (really just all of Tamriel) using the Skyrim engine. I’m really loving the game and have been thinking of going and playing the earlier ones, but I rarely ever manage to get over dated graphics, and Skyrim looks so good.



P.S. What’d Anjin and Yeebo ask you for?

P.P.S. Sorry forgot one last thing. Could you detail an elf to magically appear and groin punch anyone who spends their entire Sunday watching football and tells me that gaming is a waste of my time?